Cloaks, Calamity and Cocoa
by Rabiscar
Summary: Lily deals with vicious plant life, inclement weather, infuriating individuals of the male gender and annoying so-called friends who have very little patience for her "undying hatred" of all things Potter. LE/JP Fun. R&R?


It was a frigid, blustery day at Hogwarts as the falling snow assailed the unfortunate students who were forced to venture outdoors in order to reach their classes. The wind whipped relentlessly , biting at their faces and stinging any exposed skin. The sixth years were all quite relieved to retire into the greenhouse where the sweltering heat left the windows foggy and dripping with condensation. Lily Evans stared absently at the glass pane beside her musing over how each rivulet streaked across the sheet speedily on its own track as though it had places it had to be. The harsh tones of Professor Taproot jolted her out of her reverie and she turned to direct her attention dutifully toward the front of the room.

"As you are all aware," the strict teacher started, "We are now working in Greenhouse Three," she said and stared around the room impressively. "This means that you will be working with the most dangerous and threatening plants you will encounter during your education at Hogwarts. I remind you of this today, as we will be working with the Venomous Tentacula," she paused for effect and extracted a spiky, dark, red plant from behind her desk. Immediately, its long feelers protruded from the pot, and it unfurled its leaves to reveal sharp, jagged teeth.

Many students in the class cringed outwardly, and poor Helena Triste immediately blanched to an ashen white. Lily gulped nervously and eyed the plant with unease.

"Not to worry," Professor Taproot said cheerily, happy that she had received the reaction she was looking for. "So long as you follow my instructions precisely, no harm will befall you. Let's get to it," she said briskly whilst clapping her hands together. "Take off your cloaks as they are far too loose and may be easily snagged by a Tentacula's reaching feelers. I will distribute your aprons and I suggest that you put on your dragon hide gloves," she smiled devilishly, "because Merlin knows you'll need them."

. . . .

Lily reached down into the depths of the pot for what felt like the hundredth time in fifteen minutes. Each time she dove in, she liked the Tentacula less and less. She used her left hand to grapple with the plants many feelers while desperately groping through the mucky soil in an effort to extract tiny, shrivelled black pods. She cursed Mary yet again for skiving off on the class and leaving her without a partner. Professor Taproot had not been particularly helpful when Lily approached her about the situation. Instead the teacher laughed viciously and handed Lily a smaller plant saying "We'll see how you make out on your own."

Lily was just finishing up a rather satisfying rant of strung together obscenities under her breath when a loud crash sounded at the next table. Arthur Feenley had been wrestling with a particularly nasty specimen and as he fought against the strength of its feelers, he was thrown off balance and sent the both of them toppling to the ground. The terracotta pot shattered and the Tentacula writhed angrily on the floor, whipping its vines at any and all objects, persons, or things in the immediate vicinity. The chain reaction that followed was immediate and catastrophic. Students screamed, plants were overturned as everyone backed away in blind panic towards the front door. Spiny arms shot across the room, hurling tools, and latching onto students.

Professor Taproot's clear, booming shout rose above the din as she bellowed "GET OUT NOW! I'LL HANDLE IT!" whilst ushering students towards the door. Lily looked hopelessly toward the entrance which was on the opposite side of the greenhouse. In her path were at least twenty raging plants. She took a deep breath to steady herself before bolting across the classroom. She leapt over outstretched vines, danced around writhing plants, and kicked at the flailing razor sharp leaves obstructing her route.  
An overwhelming feeling of great daring took her over, and she found herself laughing wildly as she skittered across the greenhouse to safety. After what seemed like ages, she reached the door, and grasped the handle tightly, jerking it open with a lurch. She was immediately hit by a wall of icy, cold air and gasped, almost choking on the flecks of ice and blustering cold air that rushed past her lips. She contemplated for a moment as to whether she should just stick it out with the Tentacula but after one last look at the violent chaos ensuing inside, she opted to take her chances with the cold.

The rest of the students were already standing outside in a huddle. Many had managed to grab their cloaks on their way out, but Lily was cross to note that she was one of the few who hadn't. She approached the group quickly, eager to break through into the middle where she hoped to be shielded from the howling gales crashing around them.

"Evans!" a voice called from within the center of the crowd.

Lily squinted through the swirling snow to see none other than James Potter swaggering towards her in a cozy, warm cloak. Her dislike for him suddenly intensified tenfold.

"Not now Potter," she grumbled.

"Why not now?" he demanded loftily.

"Because I am not in any mood to deal with you. I just fought my way through a greenhouse full of bloodthirsty plants, and now have to contend with vindictive mother nature who feels the need to torment me," she seethed.

"Ah, I see," he said nodding knowledgeably. "Why aren't you wearing a cloak?" he asked blithely.

"Because I left it in there," she said and gestured towards the greenhouse with her thumb.

"Well that was silly of you," James said with an innocent smile.

Lily narrowed her eyes and looked as though she might pummel him.

"Oh lighten up," he said with an airy wave of his hand, "Besides, you know you can have my cloak," he offered nobly and began unfastening the strings.

"No I can't," she contested defiantly, "Because then you'd be cold, and I'd have to give it back, making me cold, and you'd have to offer it back to me again," she explained, "and it would go back and forth and back and forth and just get ridiculous."

"That's mad and you know it," he said with a bemused smile.

"No its not, its logic," she said stubbornly. She was coming down from her adrenaline rush and was starting to feel very tired. "One of us is going to be cold either way, and since you were the one who thought to bring the cloak, you get to wear it."

James couldn't argue with that, and found that he rather didn't want to. The cloak was very warm. He felt down the length of his sleeves and fingered the fastenings at his neck. Suddenly his eyes lit up.

"Lily! I've got an idea," he announced excitedly.

"And I cannot wait to hear it," she breathed hotly.

"We'll _share _the cloak," he said as though proclaiming a revolutionary new concept.

"Brilliant, Potter, that's just bloody brilliant," she muttered darkly as she kicked at the snow in frustration.

"It is brilliant," he insisted, "I'll just open the cloak, and wrap it round the both of us," he said and opened it widely to demonstrate how effective his plan would be. "C'mere," He urged when she still didn't move.

Lily stared at him for a moment before replying flatly, "No."

"C'mon Evans, you'll freeze to death," he said earnestly.

"No," she maintained, "I'm not even c-cold," she shivered.

He raised an eyebrow and gave her a scrutinizing look. Her arms were folded tightly over her chest and her lips quivered violently. Her cheeks were scarlet with cold, her hair was wet with snow and there were goosebumps raised on her exposed knees.

"Fine, I'm freezing, but still my answer is still no," she shuddered.

"Why?"

"Principle," she stated and straightened up as she said it, before hunching back over against the wind.

"Oh please, Lily, we're sharing a cloak, not getting ruddy married!" James exclaimed exasperatedly.

For fear of being called immature, Lily stomped towards him grudgingly.

"Fine," she huffed and allowed him to wrap the cloak snugly around her.

"Quick get in, you're letting all the cold in!"

Lily grumbled mutinously but complied. James scrambled to adjust the shroud around them, putting his arms over her shoulders in a bear hug so he could hold the cloak shut. The space constraints within the cloak forced her into his chest and she leaned her head back to look up at him sinisterly.

"Well isn't this friendly," she commented dryly.

James shrugged innocently and bit back a smile. She shook her head disgustedly but wound her arms round his middle, her head pressed against his chest.

"Comfy?" he asked with a smirk.

"Shut up, Potter," she grinned into his shirt. "This is a life or death situation," she assured him gruffly.

"Right," he said sceptically, "What was it you said last week? Oh yes, not only would you rather die than go out with me, but you would go so far as to stab yourself in the eye with an olive fork," he said thoughtfully. "And yesterday, you said that being eaten by sharks was a happier prospect,"

"This isn't a date Potter, I'm merely-"

"Cuddling with me?"

"No!" she cried indignantly, "I'm huddling with you for warmth!"

Mary however, did not see things Lily's way later that night in the dormitory.

"You cuddled with Potter?" she shrieked in disbelief.

"Why does everyone keep using that word? It was not cuddling," Lily said through her teeth.

They were settled in a heap of blankets on the floor, each hugging a cup of hot cocoa they had nicked from the kitchens. It had been a long day and each had returned to the dorm to relax and unwind after a gruelling day of classes and blustery weather.

"It was a life or death situation," Lily insisted. "I was going to freeze. What else would you have me do?"

"Oh, I don't know," Mary deliberated in mock thought, her blue eyes sparkling mischievously. "Why didn't you try conjuring a fire? Or share a cloak with someone else? Or maybe you could ask James to replicate his cloak with a simple charm we learned in class the other day, and which you seemed to master rather quickly," she said matter-of-factly as she ticked off the options on her fingers.

"You could have gone up to the castle, skipped over to the next greenhouse, run back for your own cloak, or summon it with _accio_. But I suppose you didn't think that any one of the endless other options to be suitable, did you?" Mary asked devilishly.

Lily gaped at her and spluttered inarticulately. "What, well, I-I, I never thought of all that!"

Mary's eyes flashed electric blue and she swept her short, dark hair out of her face to shoot Lily a dubious look. Mary's eyebrow was arched so high in scepticism that Lily thought it might begin to crawl along her forehead like an inchworm.

"Quit judging me Mary!" Lily cried accusingly causing Mary to laugh. "It's not my fault! I had just undergone a very traumatic experience in the greenhouse, and I was really tired, and far too cold to think proper!" Lily argued stubbornly .

"Easy there Miss Melodrama," Mary said as she rolled her eyes. "Are you sure you weren't cuddling with Potter because -gasp!- dare I say it? You might possibly return his affections?"

"NO!" Lily yelled excitedly and slopped hot chocolate down her front, "How many times do I have to say it?! I-DON'T-LIKE-POTTER!", she insisted while pounding her fist for emphasis.

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt," Mary commented dryly.

"What are you talking about?" Lily demanded irritably.

"DENIAL," Mary said loudly, enunciating the word beyond regular speech, "You're in _denial_."

"I am _NOT_!" Lily denied vehemently causing Mary to whoop in triumph. Lily realized her error and screwed up her face in defeat.

"Damn."


End file.
